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Showing posts from September, 2022

Early Evening Sitting Meditation

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All week was so hard for me. My pig died. My husband behaved in ways that made me feel even more afraid, alone and despondent. I started hurting myself again. It was just too much. I have asked for help five months ago. I only wanted two things: competent psychotherapy for my husband and psychological assessment for myself. It has been five months now and there was still no progress. Those are not unreasonable demands. At least, I have a very good psychotherapist. I work hard on getting better. But I could not sustain my progress because things around me have not changed much. So I try to get help changing things around me. But it is taking too long getting good help. I was treated badly by the hospital that was supposed to organize my psychological assessment. A few days ago I started eating meals by myself. I cook everyday and I love to cook because I love to eat. My husband is a very lucky man. But I suffer when I eat with him because he makes me feel devalued, and dismissed. There