Showing posts from September, 2022

Early Evening Sitting Meditation

All week was so hard for me. My pig died. My husband behaved in ways that made me feel even more afraid, alone and despondent. I started hurting myself again. It was just too much. I have asked for help five months ago. I only wanted two things: competent psychotherapy for my husband and psychological assessment for myself. It has been five months now and there was still no progress. Those are not unreasonable demands. At least, I have a very good psychotherapist. I work hard on getting better. But I could not sustain my progress because things around me have not changed much. So I try to get help changing things around me. But it is taking too long getting good help. I was treated badly by the hospital that was supposed to organize my psychological assessment. A few days ago I started eating meals by myself. I cook everyday and I love to cook because I love to eat. My husband is a very lucky man. But I suffer when I eat with him because he makes me feel devalued, and dismissed. There